Throwing a shower on any budget

Article Written By Lisa Tolin, The Associated Press

Whatever the bridal shower budget, the key is to create an event that's personal, memorable for the bride and enjoyable for the guests.

When you hear the words ''bridal shower,'' do you immediately hide under the bed? Feel a sudden cold coming on? Cling to your shrinking wallet?

As wonderful as bridal showers are for the bride, they don't have the best reputation among guests. There's the ever-so-proper, ladylike setting. The interminable gift-opening. And the games -- oh, the games.

But as weddings get more extravagant, so do bridal showers. That's both good news (no more games creating wedding ensembles from toilet paper) and bad (if you're paying).

''It's not just potluck lunch anymore,'' says Carley Roney, editor-in-chief of the online wedding site TheKnot.com. ''People are renting out the best restaurant in town for the afternoon to have a gourmet meal with wine. ... The new trend is to take a group of your friends away for a trip.'' There are dessert showers, spa showers, cocktail showers and cooking showers.

But fear not, bridesmaids. You needn't go broke, and these days many mothers and relatives are chipping in. Whatever your budget, the key is to create an event that's personal, memorable for the bride and enjoyable for the guests.

Be sure to check the guest list with the bride, and nail down everyone's financial obligations ahead of time so no one is stuck with a massive credit card bill.

Then comes the fun part. Experts offer these tips for any budget:

CHEAP
If you have a tight budget, keep it at home. And Roney says an e-mail invitation or e-vite is perfectly acceptable.

''Even grandmas have e-mail addresses these days. You might just have to remind them to check.''

Then it's time to roll up your sleeves. You can keep the decorations simple by forgetting about streamers and balloons. Different varieties of flowers in the same color will give the party a pulled-together look, Roney says. Ask each bridesmaid to bring vases from home.

''Just picking one element will make it look very designed,'' she says.

For the menu, you can go potluck or make a simple brunch of fritattas, bread and salad with edible flowers.

Otherwise, schedule the party in the afternoon, when no one expects much food. Or have a late evening dessert and cocktail party.

''You don't have to skip liquor. Go on winespectator.com or another site and find out about the best wines under $12,'' suggests Sharon Naylor, author of 27 wedding planning books, including ''The Ultimate Bridal Shower Idea Book.''

''Sangria is really hot for budget planners,'' she says.

No room in your apartment for a party? Naylor suggests finding a restaurant or hotel with a brunch buffet and a private room. ''You pay $12 and you have access to a buffet.''

Or simply pick a favorite bar and have everyone meet there. That works especially well for co-ed showers, Roney says.

For favors, try small bags of chocolate or potted plants and herbs from the grocery store. Those can be $4 or $5.

MID-RANGE
Print a beautiful invitation from your home computer, or order a batch from a Web site like VistaPrint.com.

If you have a shower at home, order platters from a grocery or discount store or find a caterer who specializes in ethnic food; it tends to be cheaper.

''Play it off where they're going on their honeymoon,'' Roney says. ''It'll still feel like it has a lot of flair.''

Otherwise, check out restaurants with private rooms. If your bride has a wedding coordinator, see if he or she offers shower packages.

''It's not that expensive, but it's a way to have an expert point out some really cool locations,'' Naylor says. ''There may be museums with a party room, botanical gardens with a party room. Places you never knew about.''

You can also try an activity, like a wine-tasting with someone from your local wine shop. Take over the local manicure place and bring champagne. Or think about doubling up with the bachelorette party.

''A lot of hosts are booking a great hotel room, like a penthouse suite, and then after the shower's done they're staying there with the bridesmaids and having spa treatments, so it becomes the bachelorette party,'' Naylor says.

For favors, try a goody ''bar.'' Put candies, soaps, coffee or makeup in big glass vases with a silver scoop, and buy glassine bags (available at blissweddingsmarket.com) so guests can take home a sampling.


BLOWOUT
If the bride's willing to pare down the guest list, consider a group trip to a spa or a favorite destination like South Beach or Sonoma. Otherwise, you can rent out a great restaurant, a loft space or a tented pavilion.

A big shower is especially nice if the couple is having a destination wedding that fewer guests can attend. Use the location of the wedding as your theme.

''That's one of the big goals of a blowout shower is setting a theme, transporting the guests,'' Naylor says.

A stationery store can create custom invitations with photographs or a special design to tie into the shower theme. Naylor notes that this can take four to six weeks, so planning is essential.

For a really big shower, a wedding coordinator can help relieve the stress. And extra staff may be needed for big-ticket features like chocolate fountains or fondue.

For favors, think ''the good life.'' Terry cloth robes and slipper sets. Perfume. Silver charm bracelets.

''If the bride has a personality where she likes the whole celebrity diva thing, we're seeing a lot more personalized shirts. There may be heart-studded panties or something,'' Naylor says.

Once you've settled on the details, relax and enjoy yourself. The bride will have more fun if you do, too.